Loving yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.

Feb 11, 2016 | Parenthood, Women at work

Seeing all the red hearts, red roses and chocolates in the shops for Valentines Day, got me thinking about the one person we should all make sure we give unconditional love to – ourselves.

In a world that is so pressured, and busy, and one in which so many of us are constantly judging ourselves, and never feeling like we are enough, it is as important as ever.

How can we truly be ourselves in any type of relationship (romantic, friendship, parent) if we don’t love and nourish ourselves? I think there are a few key things that can help move towards a place where you are loving yourself:

  1. Understanding and accepting yourself, warts and all!
  2. Looking after yourself. And I mean, properly taking care to ensure you are giving all the bits of you the love and attention you need and deserve.

Both of these can be so hard to do, especially if you have the role of care giver in any shape or form (mum, wife, girlfriend, daughter). We are so good at putting our needs bottom of the priority list. To only give them attention if it becomes a critical situation where you can’t deny it the time any longer. We tell ourselves, and believe it, that we have to do all the things for all the other people in our lives first. We can’t possibly go to that yoga class, or have a candle lit bath, or read that book we have been longing to read. We have to be on duty 24/7.  But really? Do we?  NO!

How about this as a radical idea – if you were to give your needs some regular attention, keeping your resources topped up, you wouldn’t then run into critically low levels (which I bet ends up in you becoming a wobbly, messy, heap in the corner somewhere), but you would feel more in control, more balanced and happier. And the people that you love in your life, would still feel loved by you, would still have their needs cared for. In fact, I bet you will all be happier and loving life all the more.

So how about this valentines weekend, you take some time to do something for you, to remind yourself how important your needs are. Here are 3 questions to help you get started:

  1. What bits of you need some nourishment for you to feel more content?
  2. How can you provide that nourishment?
  3. What one step can you take now to start loving yourself a bit more?

Here are two other blogs which might also help that I’ve shared in the past that can help you think about having a more balanced approach and prioritising your self-care.

Sam

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