One of the core findings of positive psychology is the importance of positive emotions: noticing them, experiencing them, savouring them.
I know that some of you reading this may be rolling your eyes, or questioning how helpful that is, especially at times like this, when times are really tough. I am not saying that this is THE only answer and that it will take away the heartaches, the stress, or the issues that you are facing. I know that it can be so, very hard to do in those heavy, overwhelming moments. I also know that it can be helpful.
We went out for a winter walk, all wrapped up in our waterproofs and layers, and I took my sunglasses because sometimes that winter sun can be really blinding. As we walked, the sky became darker and my son said “Mum, I don’t know why you’ve brought your sunglasses because it is so cloudy” – my response was, ” Yes it is cloudy, and looks like it may rain, but I can see the sun over there too”. This for me is what it is about. It isn’t about denying or ignoring the clouds, it is about being aware of them, being prepared for them, whilst also being open to the sunshine peaking through the clouds too.
Unfortunately, as humans we have what is called a negativity bias, which means that our brains are naturally wired to notice things that may be a threat, or may cause us pain, or when things go wrong. This was really valuable when we were ‘hunter-gatherers’ and survival was a daily challenge. Now, this negativity bias, can be one of the biggest challenges to our well-being. People who are ‘positive’ are not less aware of the ‘negative’ things in their lives, but they have a greater sensitivity to the positive moments too. The great news is that it is possible to shift this sensitivity, with intention and awareness.
Positive Emotions build your well-being
The research has shown that being open to the positive moments in your life, brings with it a number of benefits that can help when dealing with the harder moments, and bring about improvements in general well-being levels. When you experience positive emotions, it broadens your thinking and awareness, which helps you to:
- think creatively
- seek solutions to problems you may be facing
- shift perspectives, to see the bigger picture
- improve decision making
- improve focus and memory
- improves relationships
The experience of positive emotions, can bring out the best in us – emotionally and physically.
This broadening effect then builds your inner resources and resilience (known as the Broaden and Build Theory by psycholgist, Barabara Fredrickson). It not only enhances your wellbeing and overall health, but boosts your resilience and capacity to cope with challenges when they arise.
I am not for one moment suggesting that you ignore the other feelings and emotions, that arise throughout your days and weeks; just turning up your awareness to the other glimmers that are there too. Being a healthy, flourishing human being, is experiencing the full spectrum of emotions and feels. It is about emotional balance, which can be messy and contradictory. There is no ‘bad’ emotion, because all emotions are ways of our bodies and minds communicating our needs.
Where can you notice the glimmers of sunshine?
So my invitation to you, is to be curious and see where you can notice those moments, peaking through, and bring them into focus and immerse yourself in them, for a moment. By bringing them into focus for a moment or too, enables you to savour them and give yourself a little dose of good stuff into the mix.
As I was writing this, I kept pausing to enjoy the changing colours of the sky as the sun gradually went down. Those moments of sitting back in my desk chair and soaking in the colours, before coming back to my writing, just keep me nourished throughout the task in hand. And then when writing about it in here, I can see them in my mind and feel those feelings again.
It can help to note them down (either a notebook or a jar that you can pop little notes in), or share them with a friend or family member, or capture them in a photo.
Don’t let this become onerous and overwhelming though – notice them, when you notice them. For some people, they like to do it daily, for others it may be weekly or monthly. Play with it, and find a way that is most meaningful and beneficial for you.
Positive emotions come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, so don’t become rigid about how they may look or where you may find them. They may be brief moments that flitter at the edge of your awareness, that ordinarily, would escape your conscious attention. To help get you started, here is a list of the most common emotions that are commonly coined ‘positive’ emotions:
- Joy
- Gratitude
- Contentment
- Interest
- Hope
- Pride
- Amusement
- Inspiration
- Awe
- Love
Enjoy noticing and being curious, as you go about the everyday things that you do.
