Your Lockdown, Your Way
This is an unprecedented situation that we are all finding ourselves in.
Each of our situations is very different from our friends and our family members.
We all have different challenges, different worries and different pressures.
We all have different opportunities.
We all have different capacities.
There are no right ways to deal with this. There is no magic answer. There is no secret to juggling all of this and maintaining your levels of productivity whilst adjusting to the new demands on your time and capacity.
What is going to work for one person is not going to work for the next.
What works for you today, will not be the same thing that you need tomorrow.
You do not need to make the most out of this opportunity.
You do not need to add any more pressure onto yourself.
This blog is not going to give you a list of well-being practices that you have to start applying, nor is it going to be bucket list of things to achieve during this time. It is some prompts and questions for you to consider in terms of your own circumstances, so that you can coach yourself. If any of them resonate with you, and are helpful, great use them. Discard the ones that aren’t helpful. Come back to them as many times as you need, when you feel you need something else.
Remember you are your own expert.
I am a huge advocate for the fact that you need to identify the best well-being practices for your circumstances and needs, and right now this really needs to be your guiding principles. There are so many different things that you can do, you need to choose wisely for yourself. Some great questions to consider are:
- What is the issue that is causing you to feel like sparkle has dimmed / not coping / not motivated / not satisfied? Get specific with this one – drill down further than the obvious situation we are all in. What are the specific things you are finding most challenging? Is it the lack of social interaction? Is it feeling you have too much to do, and not enough capacity? Is it the pressure you are feeling? ……
- What has value to you and suits your preferences? What things feel like a good fit for you? Don’t force yourself to try and tolerate a practice because someone you know raves about it – if it makes you cringe to just think about it, move on. What things are you naturally drawn too?
- Mix it up. Variety really is the spice of life, and right now this may feel like it is coming in limited doses. This is all the more reason to create some flexibility for your well-being. Today, I really needed movement – every time I was snuggled up for too long I began to feel myself dropping into a dark place. Other days, I need those snuggled times to read and have Netflix time. At the end of last week I really need to connect with friends, and laugh together. Other nights I need to shut the whole world out.
Is social media the thing you need in this moment?
Social media feeds can be a really tricky place to navigate right now. They can be full of anxiety provoking posts, comparison invoking posts or a bombardment of posts telling you what you should be doing to make the most out of this time or they key to staying healthy. We live in a time of information overload, and this has been exacerbated in the current situation. It can be tempting to think about taking a complete break from social media, yet for many people it can also be a significant source of social connection right now. It can also be a way to escape from the chaos and realities of your own life.
A few things that can be helpful to consider are:
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Before picking up your phone or tablet, pause and ask yourself what are you needing in that moment? Is this the best way of addressing that need right now?
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It can be really helpful to remember that if there is something you would like to find out about, you can seek the information out when you need it. Do you need to be in all the groups that you are in? Can you mute them? Can you unfollow people?
Have you altered your expectations?
The standards and expectations that you had for yourself (and for your family) before this, are no longer fit for purpose. Your capacity to focus and be productive is very different. The things that you would have normally used to grade yourself as having had a good day or a successful day, don’t match up now. You need to redefine those markers for a good day, or an ‘OK day’.
A lot of the time, the pressure that you are feeling is coming from your own expectations and not the actual expectations of others.
What is within your ability to control?
One of the difficult things right now is the fact that so much of your situation can feel out of your control. But there will be things that you can make choices about. By bringing your focus back to the things that you can influence, you will start to feel better. So, what are the things that you can choose to do or not to do, or how you do them?
Make your plans work for you
Everyone feels differently about goals and planning in a normal situation, and this is the case now too. I have spoken to some clients who are taking this time to think about their longer-term intentions and plans, whereas other clients are finding it much more useful to focus on immediate actions for the next week or two. Do what feels best for you.
What advise would you be giving to your best friend?
It can be really easy to find yourself stuck in conversations with your inner-critic in times like this. A great way to help shift that perspective and connect with the more compassionate part of yourself, is to ask yourself what would you say to your best friend if they were feeling like you are right now? What would you suggest that they do?
Leave comparison out in the cold.
Most importantly in all of this be kind and patient with yourself, and don’t judge yourself against what you think you should be doing or what you think everyone else is doing.
Take each day at a time. It is normal to feel like you are oscillating between different emotions. This is why you need to check in with yourself regularly and ask what it is you need most right now,
wishing you strength and well-being at this time,
